Blonde Bimbo Said to Wed Old Prison Dog

In recent news, it has been discovered that Kate Major has moved on from the brief moments where she thought that Jon Gosselin (of Jon and Kate Plus Eight fame) was her one true soul mate, to an even more ludicrous move in her love life. Major has announced that she is now engaged to Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan’s flawed and slightly estranged father.

This is the very same Kate Major that gave up her job at Star magazine, because her love life with Gosselin was compromising her job and the interviews she did with him. It seems interesting that after she gave up her job, Gosselin gave her up. He always pretended that there never really was anything going on between the two of them. Seriously? There were pictures of them leaving hotels holding hands and looking like they were up to something. Seems very suspicious to me!!!

So after Jon Gosselin dumps her on her butt with no boyfriend, no job, no income, and a tarnished reputation, what was this poor girl to do? Well, she decided that moving on to a man that is even more in the celebrity spotlight for even more problematic reasons. Enter Lindsay Lohan’s 50 year-old father.

Lohan started his tabloid soaked life when he was put in jail to serve a three year sentence for criminal contempt of court. After that, he served a year in jail for breaking probation. Next he spent two and a half years in a prison for having driven under the influence after getting in a fight with a family member. He has had many problems with his ex-wife, Lindsay’s mom, and separated from his last girlfriend due to a domestic dispute. She claims that he kicked her, who knows exactly, but with his past record, who can doubt it?

From all of this background information, it seems that Kate Major sure has picked a winner. She doesn’t have her job or her reality TV boyfriend, so why not try and stay in the limelight by marrying an even bigger nut job? There is one thing to say for her, she sure does like her drama and to keep people guessing!

Over Easter Major, 27, invited her aging boyfriend to meet her parents. At that time, he asked her father for permission to marry her. The father gave permission. What is wrong with her dad? He has to be around the same age as Lohan, or younger. What wacked out father would be okay giving a creepy old sleazebag permission to marry his young daughter?

The wedding is starting to be planned for some time near the end of this year. The couple says that they could not be happier and that it was meant to be. Huh, I wonder if either of them said that about the last relationships they were in.



Underneath all of this, someone either has daddy issues or daughter issues and it would not be surprising if there was a little bit of both. Lindsay Lohan is in fact only four years younger than her soon to be step-mommy. Who knows in the world of celebrities, the wedding may never happen or if it does, the wedding could always fall apart within the first few days.

Jessica's Price of Beauty

I'm sure that you have been aware of Jessica Simpson's new journey to discover what people consider all around the world. Jessica, her two friends, and Botox frozen face travel country to country where they are shown some of the extremes that cultures find 'beautiful.'

The show does actually have its moments. Some of the crazy things that they threesome do are rather hysterical to watch. BUT then there is always a 'serious' moment about how people have destroyed themselves just to be pretty. It feels as if the show is trying a little to hard to bring drama to the show.

Simpson talks to women who have done crazy things for beauty, but I always get the feeling that they are more concerned about her when she starts to laugh and her lips don’t actually move! Obviously Jessica has decided that Botox is what makes her beautiful. Which I guess she might be showing that our country has placed that on women and she needs it. Who knows, it just seems a little less credible to me to see her plastic face talk about how inner beauty is on the inside...

As a serious eye-opening show, I don’t think this is it, but for a good time watching these three random Americans try weird beauty things of other cultures and somehow looking slightly stupid, this show is a winner. I am just waiting for Joan Rivers to be a guest on the show, so they can take her around with them and seen what foreigners think of her beauty!!!!

Lil Wayne doesn't go to jail today, because of a fire in the courthouse.

Seriously Weezy, GO TO JAIL!

Thank you, that is all...

(P.S. he probably set the fire, The End)

NOOOOOOOOO! Twilight part 5?!?!?!

Apparently, there is a possibility that the fourth installment of the 'beloved' Twilight movies will be split into two parts... UGH! Seriously? How long must this prepubescent girl drama last? According to the willing stars, Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson, they would love to make Breaking Dawn a two-parter. Really? That’s a shock; I would have totally that a longer lasting fame, more money, and more publicity would make them want a single part movie...

It has always seemed that there is a sort of competition between the Twilight series and that of Harry Potter. AND it just so happens, that the last Harry Potter movie is being made in two parts. HUH!?! I don't see why this final in the vampire series has to prolong the agony of scary creatures that drink blood and sparkle, oh yeah, SOOO scary!

Maybe this is a way of making more movies that Kristen Stewart can actually act in. Meaning, that her very un-versatile self will be able to play this part, instead of dragging her boring old non-changing character to a different movie where she will waltz around depressed and act as though any moment she may cry, slit her wrists, or just die! I have not read the books, but supposedly there are weddings and babies in the last on. Oh dear... I for one don’t think anyone in this movie should be procreating, let alone in two parts!

Who knows, there is still a possibility that this last movie will be a single, but now that the idea is out there, I feel that fans, cast, and crew would never let that happen. Oh Harry Potter, how sad I am that you will not be original, from here on out all movies will want to be broken up in many parts. OH! I have an idea Twilight, make a prologue, AND a post-logue, and an in-between-logue, AND a great-grandbaby-logue. Yeah, I think then the series will be done justice… OH! And then a 10 year reunion-logue. YUM, enough Pattinson and Stewart to last us the rest of our lives!

Weight Loss Causes Brain Loss

So, the other day I was watching TV. The most entertaining part of all and my favorite part (NOT!), the commercials, came on. I was just sitting there minding my own business when all of a sudden, the most confusing weight loss commercial I have ever seen in my whole entire life danced across that screen (and in this case it was more of a strip tease than a dance!) These awkward movements, whether stripper or otherwise, were accompanied by the interestingly seductive voices of Kim and Khloe Kardashian.

Now, I would like to take a moment to describe these voices. They were the kind of voice one would expect to hear if they called a phone-sex number. Like the person on the other end was really doing the dishes or balancing their check or making a PB&J sandwich, but not really paying attention to the caller on the other end. No matter what is sounded like, it was very fascinatingly uncomfortable.

The sisters Kardashian were parading around in their undernothings to try and sell their diet plan product package hoax thing. This GREAT deal is the Quick Trim diet made up of four basic products. There is a lemon body cleanse thing, a diet pill, oh and another diet pill, and this butt cream that you rub on and your cottage cheese fat just disappears! It is such a magical product that it has been endorsed by Harry Potter. I am just contemplating all of the butt fat I could get rid of if I ordered a whole case of that stuff. I am, as we speak, eating a quadruple-pounder burger while sitting in a tub of the cream, so the burger will not spend anytime on these hips!

The audience for this product is what gives me the most confusion in this whole dilemma. The product is most likely a product for women, but if this is true, then why the scandalous showing? It appears that the commercial is meant to be enjoyed by men. Why would a woman want to buy a product advertised by two women that are trying to seduce the viewers with raspy voices and horrible wind effects?

To end the commercial, Kim says, "How hot can you be?" and I just laughed in her face! Seriously, I have no idea what the product is for, who it is for and part of me thinks it is all a big joke that I just don't understand. I hope that in the future the sisters will think about working on their seducing voices and maybe spend a little more time working on their commercial concepts!!!
(NOTE: I do not encourage phone sex hot lines or anything of that nature. I am only using the analogy from what I have heard about and seen on TV...)

Poor Dental Care Saves Weezy

Today was the day that Lil Wayne was suppose to start his time in jail. He will be staying in a New York jail because of a gun possession charge for about a year. BUT good for him and his awkwardly unhealthy appearance, he actually is 'unhealthy'. Well at least that is what he and his lawyer are saying. The reason he did not go to jail today, like he was supposed to, was because of some emergency dental work... What kind of dental work is considered emergency, you ask? Well I'll tell you, the kind that happens to a celebrity to stall their jail time. His 'cracked' tooth will be fixed this Friday and he will 'need' about 10 days to recover. However, he was told by the judge that he just needed to be in jail by March 2 or bad things will happen to him. IT IS JUST A STUPID TOOTH!!!! He is having it worked on in Miami. Why can't he get it worked on in New York or in jail and then go to jail to recover for a year? No person needs 10 days to recover from dental work!!!!! I feel like maybe people in jail need dental work like others, so wouldn't they maybe be able to do something about it in there? Also Mr. Weezy, what were you doing in the last week? Did your tooth accidentally mysteriously happen to possibly break as you woke up this morning? HUH!? AND you only happened to notice it on today of all days? HUH!?!?!? Your partying the last couple of days, especially after the Super Bowl, seem to make me doubt your 'pain.' So I hope for your sake that there is something else wrong with you, to make you look a little less like you're skipping out. Maybe you could also get a hangnail? or split ends! either way, I hear they are both medical emergencies that would save you from your deserved fate. I mean seriously?!?!?! This is what doesn't make sense to me, if he would just go to jail now, then he would be out sooner. Oh well, maybe his teeth are secretly gross and disgusting under his grill and they are decaying. At least then I might be able to understand 10 day recovery. Wait...no, actually it still seems like TOO MUCH!

Britney LOST in MJ's Sheen

Apparently Brit-Brit was just going to the hospital for an annual physical and not something major and upsetting that people were spazzing out about. Although, I personally have never been to a hospital to get a physical, but maybe she doesn't have a normal doctors place to go. I have no idea, but if there was something going on, it would not be the first time that this dramafied diva has tried to keep it to herself. Charlie Sheen's wife/ex/person who never wants to see him again, so she filed a restraining order, is now possibly staying around and visiting him, at least to make things normal for the kids. Really??? Yeah because what those kids need is to see Daddy being mean to Mommy. I am sure that will give them a total impression of what normal should be! Micheal Jackson's family saw the Dr. that supposedly killed the pop king in trial today as he pleaded not guilty to manslaughter. Now, he can get at most 4 years in jail for this. SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?!? Yeah, FOUR years seems like an extremely thought provoking amount of time for someone who has KILLED someone else. I was never really a fan of the 'King', but come on! How does four years make any sense for a crime of killing??? And finally there has been some drama about the final season of LOST. All I have to say is that I hope some people know what has been going on in that show. With its excellent title, it keeps me just that, LOST!!!!!!! I have no idea what is going on, what has happened, what will happen and when it is over, I guess even if the people on the island, if they are even still on an island, are still there, at least I will have been rescued from the torture of another season!!!

The Lightning Bolt Hat.....

The one they call Lady Gaga, was at it again. With her eccentric wardrobe choices as she made her presence at the Grammys on Sunday. Now normally there is a best dressed and worst dressed category at these sort of award shows. Now, when it comes to Lady Gaga, I think they either need to count her out of both groups or maybe even think about adding a new group just for her clothes. They are always ready to shock, but how could you call these interesting creations 'worst dressed'? She first arrived in an odd dress that looked like the cross between a petticoat and a dress from the Jetsons. She commented that the dress was coincidentally made not just as a fashion icon, but also because it represented the spirit she has and her artists essence. I don't really know what that means. Maybe she is agreeing with some people when they say that her music/dancing/everything are out of this world. Apparently she also wore a green suit at the beginning of the show that had odd little green booties to go with it. The one that intrigued me the most, or confused me and or concerned me, was her final outfit. Her Zeus looking lightning bolt hat that was inspired by "ice princesses and magical angels." It was a crazy, out of control hat that was very high and with her being in the front of the audience, I am surprised anyone behind her could see. It basically consisted of what looked like rocks or grey bolts of something from somewhere not on earth, and of course it was drowned in magnifisent amounts of glitter. I don't really try to understand what she is doing in her fashion attempts, but I give her credit for going out there and taking a risk to be who she wants to be. I have been thinking and pondering about how the hat embodies magical angels, I get the ice princess part, but.... um..... huh..... I will just leave it up to her to know why. Maybe she just said that to keep everyone wondering what exactly goes on in the mind Gaga.

Kate plus 8, minus Jon, plus a new BF, plus a nanny.....oh yeah and some extensions.....

Oh my!
So in other New Years resolution news. Jon and Kate are making a very active last couple of weeks! Jon has again, no surprise here, moved on yet again to another young bimbo fan girl to be his new arm candy. Yes, its true, but this time she is 25. One of his 'old' girlfriends (alledged hook-ups) is now taking care of the kids and apparently they are thinking she is their mommy cause their real mommy is off doing who knows what.FHEW, that seems like the obvious choice of people to watch those kids..... Kate on the other hand has gone to the hair salon and picked up some new blonde hair extensions and maybe even a BF in the same place. The extensions are .... interesting? It appears that she just turned around the hair she already had, so now the part is in the back and the business is in the front. BUT the business looks a little like a wig. The unnamed boyfriend looks like a nice pal but I doubt that there is anything really going on with them. One of my New Year's resolutions should have been to become the kid's nanny. Oh well.....

A Happy resolution for the New Year/Decade

So upon returning to classes, I have decided to SMILE! My new plan is to walk into a room and smile. This will give people the impression that I am a nice person that they will want to talk to. Bahahaha! It also gives people the impression that I am one of those oddddd people that is laughing to themself and no one else in the WHOLE world has the slightest idea what is going on. But I have decided that even if the people think I am a creeper, at least I will have made an impression. And who knows, maybe my smile will make someone smile to someone else and then the whole world will be smiling. (okay, my goal is not to get the whole world to smile, but to appear to others as inviting.)

I walked to class with a huge grin on my face. I think I creeped a few people out. But in reality, dont let them lie to you! PEOPLE LOVE when I smile!

:-)